Shared Decision Making

I remember the first time I sat down with my 10-year-old daughter to plan a weekend trip. We had a map, a list of possible destinations, and a few criteria to consider. What started as a simple conversation turned into a lesson in shared decision making. It wasn’t just about where we went—it was about learning how to listen, weigh options, and compromise. That experience taught me that shared decision making isn’t just for adults or high-stakes situations. It’s a skill that can be nurtured in kids, and it has lifelong benefits.^[1]

In education, shared decision making often gets overlooked in favor of top-down approaches. But when we teach kids how to make choices collaboratively, we’re not just giving them a voice—we’re empowering them to think critically, communicate effectively, and take ownership of their learning. I’ve seen it work in classrooms, at home, and even in after-school programs. It’s not about letting kids decide everything; it’s about creating a safe space where their input matters and where they learn how to evaluate options with others.^[3]

Shared decision making is more than a buzzword. It’s a process that involves collaboration, reflection, and mutual respect. When I first started incorporating it into my parenting and teaching, I was surprised at how quickly my students and my kids began to take initiative. They were making better choices, asking more questions, and even resolving conflicts more peacefully. It’s a shift that requires practice, but the results are worth it. And that’s why I’m writing this: to help you see how shared decision making can be a powerful, everyday tool in education.^[4]

What is Shared Decision Making?

As of September 2026, Shared decision making is the practice of involving multiple people in the process of making choices, whether it's about a classroom project, a school policy, or even a family trip. It's not about letting someone else make all the decisions—it's about creating a space where everyone's voice is heard and respected.^[2]

In a classroom setting, shared decision making can look like students working together to choose a book for a reading unit, or teachers and students co-creating classroom rules. It’s about giving kids a stake in the outcome and showing them that their opinions matter.

I’ve seen this in action when I worked with a group of 5th graders who were deciding how to allocate their class funds. Instead of the teacher deciding, we had a structured discussion where each student shared their ideas, and we voted on the best options. It was incredible to watch them take ownership of the process.

Part of our Teaching decisions guide.

Why Shared Decision Making Works in Education

When students are involved in the decision-making process, they’re more likely to be invested in the outcome. This leads to better engagement, more motivation, and a greater sense of responsibility. It’s not just about making them happy—it’s about helping them take ownership of their learning.

I’ve also noticed that students who participate in shared decision making are more likely to take initiative in other areas. They’re more willing to ask questions, contribute ideas, and even help each other when things get tough. It creates a positive feedback loop that benefits everyone.

In my experience, even the quietest students start to speak up when they know their voices are valued. It’s a powerful shift that can transform the classroom culture and the way students interact with each other.

Empowerment starts with inclusion.

Related: Rational choice theory

How to Encourage Shared Decision Making in the Classroom

One of the most effective ways to encourage shared decision making is to build it into the classroom routine. For example, I’ve used a weekly “decision-making meeting” where students discuss and decide on classroom activities, rules, or even how to use their free time.

It’s also important to create a safe and respectful environment where students feel comfortable sharing their opinions. This means actively listening, acknowledging all contributions, and ensuring that no one feels ignored or dismissed.

I’ve found that using visual aids, like a decision-making board, can help students organize their thoughts and see the bigger picture. It makes the process more transparent and engaging for everyone involved.

“I remember the first time I sat down with my 10-year-old daughter to plan a weekend trip.”— Teaching Decision Making to Teens editors

Related: Affordable teaching decisions

The Benefits of Shared Decision Making for Students

One of the most obvious benefits is that students learn how to think critically and weigh different options. When they’re involved in making decisions, they’re forced to consider the pros and cons of each choice and evaluate them based on their own values and priorities.

I’ve also seen students improve their communication skills through shared decision making. They learn how to express their ideas clearly, listen to others, and negotiate when there are disagreements. These are skills that are invaluable in both academic and personal settings.

In one classroom I worked with, students who participated in shared decision making were more confident in their ability to make choices. They were also more respectful of others’ opinions and more willing to compromise when necessary.

Real-Life Examples of Shared Decision Making

One of the best examples I’ve seen is when a group of middle school students decided how to spend their class funds on a science project. Instead of the teacher making the decision, the students had a discussion, evaluated their options, and voted on the best idea. It was a great way to involve them in the process and teach them about budgeting and teamwork.

Another example is using peer mediation in the classroom. Instead of the teacher resolving conflicts, students are trained to mediate disputes between their peers. This not only helps resolve conflicts more quickly but also teaches students important skills like empathy, communication, and problem-solving.

I’ve also used shared decision making in after-school programs, where students get to vote on the types of activities they want to do. It’s a simple but powerful way to give them a voice and make them feel more connected to the program.

How to Get Started with Shared Decision Making

The first step is to model the process. This means showing students how to ask questions, consider different perspectives, and make decisions that take into account the needs and wants of everyone involved. It’s important to be transparent and honest about your own thought process so students can see how it works.

Once students understand the process, you can begin giving them more responsibility. Start with small decisions, like the order of activities for the day, and gradually move on to more complex decisions like how to use class funds or choose a book for a reading unit.

It’s also important to create a supportive environment where students feel safe to make mistakes. Shared decision making is a process that takes time to develop, and it’s okay if things don’t go perfectly at first. The key is to keep encouraging and guiding them through the process.

Modeling is the first step to mastery.

Long-Term Benefits of Shared Decision Making

Over time, students who participate in shared decision making tend to become more autonomous and self-directed. They learn how to make choices based on their own values and priorities, rather than relying on others to make decisions for them.

I’ve also noticed that classrooms with a culture of shared decision making tend to be more respectful and collaborative. Students are more willing to listen to each other, resolve conflicts peacefully, and work together toward common goals.

In the long run, students who participate in shared decision making are better equipped to make thoughtful, informed decisions in both academic and personal settings. They’re more confident in their abilities and more likely to take initiative in new situations.

Shared Decision Making